12.02.04; Valentine Victim; 14:00

No. of female dates for Valentine’s: 2. No. of men who insisted on having dinner with me come Saturday: 1. No. of dinner dates I postponed: 1. No. of men willing to watch FAME with me: 0, so far. No. of women willing to watch FAME with me: 0, so far. No. of women willing to watch another Korean horror flick with me: 2. No. of minutes spent convincing myself I’m no love pariah: 0. No. of biologically male friends who asked me to bear his child: 1.

Dear Niwee,

Innovation is out. Watch me fall prey to the lure of kamasahan.

To the man I used to love:

30th of May

Those gentle statements, countered yet deathless,
Are the snowstorm that claim my happiness
The touch you provide does not heal my scar
Yet solace is scarce from the hands of a czar
Plant your lips on me, render my weeps silent
Swing me and sing tunes that mine is fervent
Tear the fear that clads my solitary soul
Clasp your hands on mine, enwrap its huge hole
Enslave Tomorrow then rip his insides
Yesterday will taste my juice for suicide
Today, once again, spits solemn salutes
For the black ink that remains on my foot.

09.06.02
23:10

To the man I allegedly love today:

Dirge

Let’s make music,
Make the public
Listen and sick

One by one we climb up
No intros, no greetings
Who’s who? Go figure out

I tried but I’m voiceless.
Did you believe, my dear,
That my silence will cease?

Let’s make music,
Make the public
Listen and sick

She grabbed her chance to croon.
Her lyrics were aplomb,
Her eyes spoke of passion

Her tune spelled perfection.
Your back turned, I bit my lip
Can’t bear to see the rest

Let’s make music,
Make the public
Listen and sick

You played tunes out of her.
Like a sax, her gape closed,
Her hair felt like lyre

Together, you performed.
The bridge went into halt:
My tears were out of sync

Let’s make music,
Make the public
Listen and sick

Guitar splits into half.
Her eyes flashed in fury,
Her moans at last piped down

String on hand, he held my gaze.
Fingers fought but it’s clear:
Now is my turn to sing

We’ve made music
Did the public
Listen and seek?
Have they gone weak
From this little trick?

08.02.04
14:29

To the man I’ll love in the end:

Finale

?

02.02.04
12:40

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