15.04.04; Terrorist Thursday; 21:57


No. of swimsuits paraded yesterday: 0. No. of calories burned yesterday: Approximately 900. No. of calories gained yesterday: Approximately 1,000.


Dear Niwee,


It was one of those moments it pays to be the oldest.  Being in a clan comprised of closet terrorists like mine, summer getaways are always a favorite. Being the eldest in the cousinhood equates to immunity from threats. Nobody dared to touch me. Rodgel is technically the youngest. But this gifted toddler is too cute to torture so we unanimously pinched him in the cheeks instead. It was only Kay, the third youngest whose sex orientation the men like Macky and Dex loved to question and therefore our longest running target for verbal and physical abuse, who jostled him to the point of no more plunge. Since Rodgel is out, we all turned to Danice, a.k.a Cielo for Rodgel who calls himself Lawrence. We made a squared circle out of the pool and we, specifically my youngest brother Lemuel, made an inflatable toy out of Danice. Fun was over when her big sister decided her Marina moves would aggravate her coughs. Ooopsss…so she was sick. Now we all took turns to drown Kay: he’s the next youngest and he deserves punishment for making Rodgel fear our advances. He was aware that the spotlight would soon focus on him, as evidenced by his hoarding of the salbabida. Our attempts are too amateur (My nails only left a reminder) compared to Dbigfailure’s successful electric chair drop and choke slam. Man, was it a sight.


Over early dinner tonight, I was narrating to Dbigfailure how Lemuel whirled Danice to insanity. At first he couldn’t catch up to descriptions. After my little demonstration, he finally uttered, “Ah, parang yung ginawa sa’kin ni Kimpot,” It figures. Kay is just releasing his bottled up resentment when he forced Rodgel to slide.


This late afternoon, I answered Dad’s call. Suddenly, someone picked up the extension and replied to his inquiries. I know I no longer have a use in this conversation so I better hang up but the voice intrigued me. It seemed like Macky’s but…Then the “Pa, Pa, Pa!!! Pahingi ng barya …” corrected me. God, my youngest brother is indeed nagbibinata na. I know my brothers and cousins have been doing massturbation but it never occurred to me until now. Plus, I saw the silly grin across his tanned face after dinner while texting. Ugh.


Shit, we’re getting older.