17.12.04; Quiapo Queen; 01:13

Soplak of the Week: Lornadahl: Hello, can I have one of these? *points to the bottles of red wine* Waiter: Sorry, Ma’am…This is just for the VIPs. New addition to my wish list: Work, work, work on Christmas day.

Dear Niwee,

Before the new sex scandal gets reformatted to fit your screen, allow me to make an exclusive monologue: OH MY GOD.

As a part of our annual physical exam, we are required to undergo chest radiography. Or as the technician (whom vflaire reckons as the Third World Lance Bass of N’Sync) explained within the mobile x-ray unit, you’re out if you have had it early this year. Days after, Shiela told me her jaw-dropping discovery: there’s a tiny room beside the dressing room and a gaping hole leading to it. She caught her voyeur red-handed and pierced him with a glare. Two more colleagues backed up her testimonial. In fact, the technician/s even offered to send them the x-ray results through SMS. What a feature to put Nokia into obsoleteness!

At the risk of sounding eager for my 15 minutes of lame fame, you can recognize me when you see the girl who spent the first 5 minutes screening every nook and cranny for hidden cameras then turned her back (hopefully, from that hole) and unbuttoned her orange shirt (whom petiks heartlessly dismissed as my uniform) and white bra. I have a mole in my tummy. Hope that helped.