21.04.06; Black Coffee/Black Saturday; 07:21

Latest makeover: Hair and sole. No, nothing in between. Latest kaboobahan antic: Falling kneefirst then, uhm, facesecond while climbing up the stairs! Latest near-death experience: Choking. "<Company name>, *loooooong pause* this is Lorna *looooooong pause* How may I help you?" Latest music to my ears: Jack Johnson.

Dear Niwee,

While the rest of the Catholic world reflected on Jesus Christ’s death, our tiny gang celebrated bashing other races. First on our list was Koreans whose fashion sense we all hated with passion. Aside from my first-hand experiences with them violating my personal space, I shared how disgusted I am with how they redefined swimwear. I have witnessed how long sleeved tops and below-the-knee dresses and umbrellas became accepted attire and accessories under the sea.

Eems had more to share. He had the unfortunate experience of sharing the shore with Koreans geared up in:

1. One-piece fuschia bathing suit + sweat guard + badly set hair + black stiletto heels.

2. Leather pekpek shorts + blue-and-red blouse converted into bolero.

3. High-cut Chuck Taylor’s + ultra large hat.

Those who don’t find these images hilarious be the first to cast this bigot brat a stone.

Being phone monkeys we all are, it was inevitable to gab about speaking with far-from-intelligent Americans. Joey chanced upon an article prophesizing that there would come a time when the whole world speaks a single accent: American. Who wants that to happen? Nobody in our circle does. If such thing would take place, we hoped we would all speak in sexy British accent instead. It’s now up to the Indians for this to materialize!

Atong has bad news. Most kids from India now attend international schools to acquire the much-coveted and less-prejudiced American accent and, once achieved, transfer to local ones. Speaking the way Americans do has its benefits.

Time for Pinoy Mojo Jojos to do something about this.