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07.06.09, “Someday” Sunday, 08:00Latest que horror moment: The appearance of my Doppelganger at work. Most recent writing piece: An attempt to produce a sports article for Colympics, hopefully with no bylines. Latest resolution: NOT to be torpeanymore. Success rate: Almost imaginary. Number of foreign men I’m lusting for: 2.5. No, they’re not celebs.Dear Niwee,

This entry is NOT an attempt to join the bandwagon as 1.) this is loooong overdue (imagine, the old officemate I was referring to on my last entry is back again for another vacation); 2.) the most recent controversy, as per my selective current affairs radar, is the Hayden Kho-Katrina Halili sex video scandal. This entry will demonstrate how I had matured since my last post.

Remember my take-home thoughts from Bohol (see the 02.11.08, Sunday Samhain, 14:04 entry)? My recent trip to Camiguin proved that there’s another issue this country continues to overlook. With the not-so-recent controversy about the cat killer in the University of the Philippines and this heartbreaking blog entry about a dog’s demise on Cebu Pacific, it is rather appropriate to state that animal rights violation also takes form in tourism-related merchandises.

The sight of this dead monkey’s skull being sold as a souvenir made my stomach turn. How could they possibly make profit out of poor animals? This, I’d say, is very creepy. It’s not something I’d want to take home, display or share with my loved ones.This reminds me of the best dreamcatchers I had ever laid my eyes on. I bought two tiny dreamcatchers in Sagada. I used one for myself and I intended to give the other as a housewarming gift for my best friend Grace (don’t ask me what happened to that supposed gift). It was a rarity as most dreamcatchers use beads, mine seemed like an authentic vertebrae in the middle. During my conversation with New Zealand-based Laura on our Sagada-Baguio bus ride, I realized the animal cruelty involved in producing such deamcatchers. I felt bad for taking part. Wala namang papatay at magbebenta kung walang bibili, diba?***

5 years ago, I was busy being depressed during a team building in Baguio City. My mind was completely somewhere else. My soul felt stifled and determined to start chasing my dreams. I was pitted among these options: pursue graduate studies, migrate to Baguio City and start my media career or move to Cebu City and spend my weekends traveling. You know what I chose.

This time around, the same extent of depression is starting to drown me. I have 3 questions again: 1.) Should I still continue with my MA degree?; 2.) Isn’t it high time for me to leave the call center industry for a more rewarding entry to the marketing or museum realm?; 3.) Why not fly to New Zealand to gather material for my loooong overdue travel writing career?

I seriously envy those who can resign in a heartbeat and shrug off when asked, “What next?”. While I allow practical reasons to decide for myself, some people have faith. I’m so exhausted and saturated with my reality! But then again, don’t I always try to escape from this sickening reality? “Takbo ako nang takbo!”. Always off to Nowhere. How immature, eh?

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