08.07.09, Weeping Wednesday, 23:47The backlog of kikay tasks: mani/pedi, haircut, hair spa, digital perm, Brazilian wax, half-legs and underarm wax, eyebrow threading, prophylaxis and, hopefully, boob reduction and rhinoplasty. Latest cravings: Twister Fries, Krispy Kreme, KFC’s chicken strips and quesadilla, thanks to Magic Johnson’s speech.

Dear Niwee,

I’m still crying over Michael Jackson‘s death. Watched the memorial service earlier (01:00-03:45 MNL time), re-watched my favorite performances, or, as John Mayer put it, contributions, on Youtube after waking up, listened to the memorial service while I had my PT session this afternoon and viewed the replay tonight. While the rest of the world, particularly my best friend Puffmami and artist John Legend, had twitted about their saturation for the seemingly endless flood of MJ-related news, the tide of emotions continued to wash over me. It was so heartbreaking!

I may not be a die-hard fan as Gary Valenciano or my own parents, I could feel the denial, the sadness and the guilt. His musical achievements and passion for charity was insurmountable.  He touched so many lives with his songs and presence. His demise made me imagine his sorrowful childhood and difficult battles with the controversies. The world had been so mean to him.

It wasn’t hard to ridicule him. What’s with the obsession with plastic surgeries and bleaching? The latter seems contradicting to his love for his brothers and quest for equality. It was easy to play psychologist and connect the dots between his childhood and potential sexual preference for children. It’s easy to assume he paid a fraction of his daily earnings to make the victims clam up and make the justice system in his favor. But what exactly do we know?  We think we know him. We want a piece of him all the time but we hardly really know him.

The world mourns over the loss of a remarkable performer, possibly the best performer that ever lived. My heart goes out to the individuals who lost a good man in their lives.