It’s been 6 weeks since I had my kneecap dislocated while I was dancing drunk somewhere in Ortigas. And I’m still on house arrest whose only itinerary were home and various hospitals. Typically, I’d be cursing the heavens for all the happenings I was missing out. It was initially true, considering the parade of film festivals that take place this time of the year. But this frustration was quick to vanish: There’s a reason why it happened.
This book confirmed my thoughts. There’s this “cosmic boot” that kicked my knee so I can finally slow down and address countless issues I’ve been pushing back due to my unforgivably stressful schedule. The start of the year witnessed me juggling graveyard shift, organizing and maintaining the online presence of the 1st Call Center Olympics and running my business. I ended up not taking the exam that sem. But it was an easy decision.
Considering it’s been gathering dust since my friend Randy lent it to me, this is the perfect time to absorb words of wisdom from Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D. There are so many lessons learned competing for some airtime on my mind right now. I’d start with the concept of self-love. I know I’ve learned to love my beautiful self over the years but I feel it is insufficient. It’s as if it roots from all the pain and deprivation I’ve collected over the past decades. I’m still concerned about the outer world to the point of seeking validation at times. I get disappointed when my self-appreciation occasionally drops to zero. Now I know better, it really comes from within.
My closest friends can attest how obsessive-compulsive and achievement-oriented I can get. But this must change. I’m here for growth and that’s all I should be concerned about. When I re-assessed my goals, I am satisfied to see that I have a huge heart for humanity. I’m getting there.
Another treasure I wish to impart is the fact that everyone we cross paths with are our teachers and, when the lesson is finally learned, we have to leave them behind and move on. I’ve had my share of crying sprees and the subsequent desire for revenge. The latter is rather pointless. In reality, those who’ve hurt us were sent to share a lesson the hard way. We must accept this and forgive them and ourselves.
Just read this over and I sounded like the preachy, self-righteous woman I’ve dreaded to become years ago. But I guess this only goes to show that I have truly changed. And I can feel it. I’m so bursting with hope, self-love, gratitude and happiness. I am so grateful to be enlightened!